Do you still have your period?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize