He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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