That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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