my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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