You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
