I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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