Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
