He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
