FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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