I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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