I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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