just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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