Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
