Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize