i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
