bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
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