we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
