I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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