she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
