real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
