It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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