I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
