stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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