He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize