I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Randomize
