just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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