my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
