whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Randomize
