I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
