nut hugger
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
