so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
