so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
