Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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