lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
