What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
