You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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