I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
