once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
