A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
