I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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