If i come over, it means nothing
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
