I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
