last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
