you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
