he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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