If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
it's great music for shaving your balls
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
