so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I need to align my fucking chakras
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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