THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
