So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
His hands were made for my vagina.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
