my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
