maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
