The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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