I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
