I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize