You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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