In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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