I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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