So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
