:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
