Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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