I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
