Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
