Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
