just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
