you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
