Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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