Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
