its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize