I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
third nipple confirmed
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
